This morning, on my drive to work, I could only whisper to myself: “Life is so temporary.”
Everything in life. Everything I endure… EVERYTHING is so temporary. I will never be the same. Nothing stays the same. Everything is constantly changing.
So, in that, why do we expect things to “stay the same?”
It’s been four months since I broke up with J. It feels like forever ago that I was with him. I feel like I have completely changed and gone through more in the past four months than I really have at any other point in my life.
Yet, why is it that, when we see someone after a long period of time, we associate who they were in their past life as the person they are in this life?
Why am I so stuck on who people USED TO BE rather than who they ARE NOW?
As I contemplate this, I am applying to schools back in Washington. I miss home. I miss my family. I miss the rain. I miss the subtle hints of everything. Yet, I fear going back to the place where everyone knows who I used to be. Everyone associates 18 year old Colleen with the 24 year old I stand here today. I have changed SO MUCH in six years. I dated. I got my heart broken. I found and lost my religion. I made friends. I made enemies. I graduated college. I got my first REAL teaching job. I got a cat. I went through HUGE transitions…
Will anyone see that?
And why do I care?
Why do I care about that?
Why do I care what other people have to say?!
If only I could predict the future.
Will you still see me as I was yesterday?