69:365

The worst feeling in the world is feeling like you’re somehow not enough. Whether you’re at your job or in a relationship. There is nothing worse than trying failing.

I fail at a lot of things.

But, I don’t like to admit that I am a failure. I don’t like to admit that I am not the best at anything. I want to be the best. I want everyone to know I am the best. I want to be better than everyone.

Then, it hit me.

I will never be the best. I will never have it all going on. I will fail. I will make mistakes. At my work, in relationships, in my family, I am going to fall short of greatness. I am not the Michael Jordan of anything. I am just me.

And in this acceptance, I have to figure out HOW I can be okay with being imperfect.

Is anyone actually okay with being… imperfect? I’d like to know when it all stops feeling weird.

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In relationships, I tend to be controlling. I tend to drive people, both men an women, away from me. I tend to write people off for NOT being perfect as well. I tend to hurt people more than I help them… I tend to push intimacy away because I’m scared of being pushed away for not being perfect.

 

I wonder….

Do people like me exist… when you see flaws, do you run?

 

Because, when I see my own, I run. I run away. I run from my mistakes. I run from EVERYTHING.

 

I run from my insecurities.

 

Do you?

 

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One thought on “69:365

  1. I used to, and then I realized that all that running is exhausting and just leads me back to where I started from. Learning to accept the flaws is liberating. It takes time, but it’s worth it.

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