81:365

Sex.

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Sex always gets people’s attention. It’s not that I want everyone’s attention. I don’t think I want that. I don’t want EVERYONE to know ME…. but, as I am surfing the internet, I realized… the world is obsessed with sex.

tumblr_mk4xmgiMjz1rsuhafo1_500This is not a revelation. I know. I know that sex is everywhere. It’s in bikinis, photoshop, and hearts. Sex is on the minds of sinners and saints. Sex is sex. It is not bound by religion, laws, or the media. Sex is sex…. and we have just dreamed up this fantasy about it.

Now, consider the source in this post. I have never had sex, as I have stated before. I am a 24 year old weirdo virgin with an opinion about sex. Some might think I have some great ideas, but most of you have probably clicked out already. Hear me out, please.

I can’t do anything without sex being flashed at me. Confused? Let me take you through my day.

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First, I woke up alone. The media would say, “You should have a boyfriend. You should be talking about marriage. BLAH BLAH.” Well, I woke up alone… which means, I didn’t have a man sleep over last night. I woke up looking like garbage. No wonder I am single? That breath? GROSS. I woke up alone which means I ain’t getting any. This is fine until I get in the shower. I look pretty good in the shower… but the Media says I should look like this not that. So, again… I am not sexy…

I mean, what is more sexy than morning breath before coffee?

The answer is nothing.

Nothing.

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Then, I try to figure out what to wear today. If I wear jeans and a tshirt, I look like someone who is too comfortable and non-sexual. Sexy is what we care about, right? But, If I wear jeans and a sexy top, am I trying too hard? Why can’t I wear whatever I want and not have sexual thoughts going on. So, I grab whatever has the least amount of cat hair.

I went to the mall. BAD IDEA. I just wanted to get out of my head. Instead, I found myself staring a photoshopped Victoria Secret ad telling me to buy a new bra and get a pantie free. Who can say no to undergarments no one is going to see? I had to walk away… even though they were pink.

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Spring is the season for love. My ex something… Uh, someone I used to kiss on occasion was working at the mall. When I turned around, he was working… and, well, being awkward, I ran. I ran away. He was horrible at kissing and stuff… See, I worked at the mall and he worked there, too. Then, we went out. He paid for dinner and never talked to me again UNTIL we saw each other on Okcupid. So, we went out again. We talked about old times. I asked him why he never kissed me after our date. He didn’t know I wanted to kiss him… so we kissed… a bit. He was just not that good. No offense to him… but there was no passion. I tried to fake it and wound up in a compromising situation. So, I went home and never talked to him again. I don’t regret it… but when I see him, I wonder if he thinks about me in a hateful way or if he’s undressing me. I would have no idea since I stopped it before it got there. Image

I got home. I washed my face. I clicked on facebook to baby announcements, weddings I didn’t go to, and “modeling” photos from people I went to college with. I’m chewing on celery and cuddling my cat while wearing leggings. I’m wearing the leggings… not my cat…

and I wonder. Why is the world consumed with sex? Why is it everywhere? Why can’t knowledge or wisdom be everywhere selling out stores? Why isn’t Hemingway or Salinger best sellers and breaking records instead of that Fifty Shades of Kinky Sex (whatever that book is…)? This is my question. This is what my heart wonders?

Is it Freud’s fault? Or brain? Plastic surgery? Marilyn Monroe? WHAT!?

Why is the world obsessed with sex?

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